by Janine M.
Travel is always stressful, and it doesn’t get easier with kids. But there are things that can help ease the stress and make the trip enjoyable. Our family travels, a lot… All of our kids have been on a plane before they were 2 months old, and we’re nearly always on a plane at least every other month or so. I also travel solo with the kids quite often. This guide is written as if you have to go solo, but (obviously) it’s always easier when there are more hands. Over time, we’ve learned how to streamline the process and also how to adapt as the kids get older.
Bags packed and ready to fly!
Above all, keep calm
Honestly, this is the biggest tip I have. Parenting on a plane is big league, and you need your game face on! Babies and children take their cues from us, so when we’re flustered, their flustered and act out. Do what you need to do to keep yourself chill and relaxed as possible. When you do get flustered, take a moment to calm yourself down. Often times, your ability to relax yourself also relaxes your child (especially babies!).
Give yourself tons of time
The best way to not get frantic— give plenty of time so when you do need to take a moment, you have time to do it. Giving yourself lots of time to get though security and head to your gate also allows you time for the kids to eat and play before getting on the plane. I like a minimum of 2 hours for domestic flights and 2.5 hours for international.
Find the play area, get food and stay there until its time to board
Most airports have a space for kids. In SFO they have areas in all terminals (except international!… what??). A quick google search will generally tell you where they are for other airports you’re flying out of.
To car seat, or not to car seat
This one is a tricky one, since it’s balancing a lot of considerations. The “most” safe way for a child to travel is in their car seat. It’s also the safest way for your seat (less likely to be damaged). That said… air travel is really pretty safe, which is why car seats are not required on planes. All car seats on planes must be rated for air travel, and agents will often look for the sticker.
Dad, on his first solo trip with the girls
Infant: If you’ve decided having baby in your lap is not for you, than you must use a car seat on the plane. Generally, this will be your infant seat and be installed rear-facing. It’s all pretty straight forward and is nice to have so you get some personal space while baby plays/sleeps.
Toddler: For kids between 2 and 3 (maybe 3.5), I highly recommend using a car seat on the plane. It keeps them contained in a way you child feels comfortable in. It allows them to be high enough to see out the window and sleep comfortably. It also prevents frantic fights trying to keep your toddler in their seat during take-off/landing when they, inevitably, figure out how to unbuckle their belt (*cough*, that has never happened to me…*cough*). The biggest con: You’re expecting me to say having to deal with dragging the on and off, and yes… that’s not great. But the biggest con is that your child likely is able to kick the seat in front of them creating irritation and havoc for the passenger in front of you. Try to fly in the bulkhead where this is not an issue. You can install rear-facing if your seat fits that way (I’ve only done forward facing on the plane).
Preschoolers: It’s up to you here. We’ve ditched our car seat on the plane once they get old enough to understand they need to keep their seat belts on. Mostly, this is because it’s much easier space wise and allows flexibility for where you kid can sit. Some kids might still do better in their seat though… it’s up to you!
*side note on the CARES harness – I’ve never used one, but some people like them. They definitely keep you child safer during take off and landing if not using a car seat. I can’t imagine keeping a kid in them for the whole flight, though.
So you’re taking the car seat…
I never travel with our primary car seats. We use the ones that either go in the other car, or extra ones I’ve purchased just for travel. Our seats are getting beat up by checking them, FYI. There are a couple ways to deal with hauling a car seat onto an airplane.
Infants: this one is easy, use your travel system!
Toddler/preschoolers: You can buy a light one that’s easy to carry or you can use one of these magic creatures:
I love, love, love the travel carts and we still use ours most of the time, especially on long-haul flights. We have yet to have a child be awake enough to walk through the airport after a long plane ride. The travel cart essentially turns your car seat into a stroller, as your kid can ride in it! Another bonus… if your car seat is narrow enough, you can wheel your child straight onto the airplane. (We use Britax Clicktight seats when traveling and they fit down the aisle no problem). It makes plane travel so much easier since you have a way to contain your child during the trickiest moments. If gate checking, I leave the car seat attached to the travel cart. So far, we’ve not had an issue. You can add a bag to help protect your car seat when checked (I stopped being this fancy a while ago… this might be why we’re seeing so much wear on our travel seats).
Car seat placement: For safety in emergencies, car seats are only allowed in certain seats on the plane. No exit rows (duh), and they have to be next to the window. If you have more than one seat in a row you’d use the window and middle with you on the aisle. If it’s a big plane, and you’re in the middle section, your car seat(s) would go in the middle. It’s pretty obvious why once their installed; there is literally no space to get past one. Think about this when you’re booking your seats, but if you mess up- let the gate agent know as they can probably shuffle you around.
Security
This is the first hurdle, where things can get really frantic. It’s best to give yourself lots of time, so you can go at your own pace (ignore all the pushy people behind you) and get yourself through the mess. Things also take longer, since you might need some extra screenings between baby items and the stroller/car seats. When traveling with kids you don’t need to go though the body scanner. Catch a TSA agent’s eye and they will put you and your kids though the metal detector.
Enjoying a pre-flight snack
Infants: Soft structured carriers are allowed to be worn while going through the metal detector. I generally transfer baby to the carrier while waiting in the security line so I can be hands-free to get everything onto the conveyor belt. If traveling with a stroller, I ask TSA to hand check it (even if it does fit in the scanner… it’s actually your right to request hand inspection of any item). Liquids and foods for babies are allowed in your carry on. Pull them out of the bag and put them through the scanner. They will nearly always pull your bag out to do more testing on the liquids before sending you on your way (another reason its good to have extra time).
Toddler/preschoolers: I am not ashamed to admit I’ve used a leash on my kids to get through this step (SkipHop has a backpack with a tether, that is nice for this). The kids are always super excited to get onto the plane and it can be hard to keep them with you when you’re so busy getting everything ready. If you’re taking your car seat to the gate or plane, strap your kid into it until the last possible second. They do not need to remove their shoes. Once ready, a TSA agent will coax your child through the detector followed by you. Get ready to grab their leash (if using) again while you deal with putting all your stuff back together on the other end.
Breastfeeding/Traveling with frozen milk:
All breast milk and other liquids for baby is allowed. There are reports of people getting push back on this (I have not personally experienced it). So know your rights and take a print out with you if you’re traveling with a large volume.
Breastfeeding on a plane… I’m not going to lie, it sucks. There is never enough space and it’s hard not to feel exposed. When traveling alone, I almost always get sat next to some old codger… it’s annoying. Use a cover if that makes you feel more comfortable. I don’t feed well with a cover, so I just to suck it up and go for it. Regardless, nobody wants a hungry baby on a plane. If you’re family takes up three seats, try to sit in the middle so you don’t have to worry as much about getting in people’s way. It’s also the most private spot (or near the window if no car seat), if that makes you feel more comfortable.